The Funny Man

My mother’s 83-year-old neighbour has always been a funny man. Reg once rode his horse into my parent’s bedroom and woke them with a bugle (they had large sliding doors). Recently, however, he’s not doing well. His heart is failing. He’s had falls and is now off his food. I called him in New Zealand last night to say hello. After brushing me off about his health, he told me this: ‘Two strangers, a woman and a man, find themselves sharing a sleeping compartment on an overnight train. The man takes the top bunk but after a while finds himself getting cold. He calls down to the woman and asks her to pass up a spare blanket. She calls back, “Why don’t we do what married couples do?” The man, excited by the thought of sharing a bed, readily agrees. The woman then says, “Get your own fucking blanket then.”’